you Leave me High and Dry (06th July 2008)

You leave me high and dry
Just as the other did
Not so long ago
And it hurts
And I cry

Too many
Expectations I had
(it must be this)
Your age
Spelled maturity
Your individual
Spelled insight

And I thought in the space
Of intimate
Physical loving
These traits would be the same

And I was wrong
There is still so much for the male world to learn
Of loving a woman
Intimately
The he’s of the world
Are so young in their “knowledge”
And so naïve – thinking “the bigger, the better”
And yet

It is but the opposite
And they have been told this, but they will not listen
Cannot
For that would be to surrender
Beyond themselves
Its just too much to ask

And so women
Like myself -
Are left high and dry -
Passionate
Sensual
We’re left with the keys to whole new realms
But with no man brave enough to go with

You are like all the others
I thought you weren’t
And when questioned?
It meant nothing to you
My needs
My desires
Meant nothing to you
They were all just left
high and dry

You got what you wanted
A quick feeling
of ecstasy through the loins,
several times you said.
My body was a convenient vehicle
for you to meet your own pleasures

You forget
That I am not an object
I too come in human form
And have tender places that need touching
Needing to reach their points of release
You left me high and dry
Like I’m some whore
And I cry

I didn’t want you to be just like him
Or them
I wanted so much more for you
To be seen as everything
in my eyes
(as I’ve been seeing you from the start)
But you chose a different route
And you’ve so suddenly become
a jerk –
just like him,
and all the others,
who just don’t give damn -
About the space they leave the other
Feminine counterpart in.

Somehow
Despite all your insightfulness
Into great worldly issues
There is one that towers above all of these
And you have shown you know nothing of
Or very little -
This is where you fall down
You are lost -
That you too need the feminine force
to move through you

But you all deny this
and leave a trail of hurt debris
behind you
too afraid to look back
at the mess you’ve made
you close off and keep walking
destined to repeat it all again
because you just won’t stop
and listen.

You seem to think
I get some enjoyment out of this
That I sacrifice my body regularly
In my own little naïve way
…….
You know nothing of me then
For my ties of loyalty are strong
My sense of honour
to myself
and the other
runs deep into the bowels of Mother Earth
……
So think again.

I AM disappointed
I cannot deny
I laid my trust
Out like a vastly spread tablecloth
Thinking that you would truly look out for me
In that
I guess I was naïve
Should I change?
No
To retreat and become closed and selfish
like all the others
in the world
Would already be to be like them ….

Did I make a mistake?
Yes
I thought you were different.

And so I must ask you this –
Are you too like them?
I truly thought you weren’t …
Where did I lose sight?
Get it wrong?
Go blind?

Or did I just believe in you too much
Perhaps this is it.

You see
Dear one
I am a woman
But not just any
I am both young and old
Spirit and soul
Masculine and feminine
Fire and gentle sensuality
Perhaps
I was just too much for you …
Like I was just too much for the other.

Remember
Part of being this woman
Is for her to be open
In her ways
In her heart
She does not shy away
From the furies of this existence
But she does FEEL
She felt for you – too deeply, too tenderly …
As it now seems.

You do not seem to understand
that the language
of such a woman
as I
is truly spoken in the acts of intimate love.
If only you had waited,
Shown patience
and disciplined your ego
you may have come to know a world not yet known to you
and
you would have truly met me.