Traveller
There is no more left here for me
My giving is spent
And there is nothing for you to give in return
That can sustain me
nourish me
The way that I need
There hasn’t been
For a while
(perhaps there never was)
But I held on,
To the hope that it would change
That this had a possibility of life
My loving
In all the ways that I have sent it out
I see
Is flowing into a nothingness
A black hole
The rarest of jewels I carried in my outstretched hands
With complete and utter love
Devotion
So willingly wanting to give away
to you,
Now have no home
I think they never did
I see them sinking to the bottom
of an abyss
The bed of the ocean floor
Where there is just darkness
Infinite …. never-ending …
never breaking …
No life dwells there
Only loneliness
Their sparkle
Will never shine
They’ve had no chance to show
all of their glow
they only glinted on their gradual floating down
as the light caught them ever so slightly
while receding
just possibilities of what they hold
My heart once soared till not very long ago
flying with excitement
at a possibility
Of having found what I was looking for
Have been seeking for so long
But reality has dawned in
Its rays have filtered through the Veil of Illusion
That’s been wrapped round my senses
I’ve had no choice but to lift it and see
How things really are
My role has ended
In this play
I have left this stage
My silhouette sunk into the shadows of the wings
And I am swallowed up by the anonymity
of the backstage
My make-up I have removed
No traces left
And I’ve gone through the exit door
I leave you standing now
With your character to play out
In whichever way you will
Your choices waiting patiently for you
There on the wooden floor
Under the gazing lights
- for you to choose your next lines
Your dialogue
Your gestures
To support your role
You will create by your choices the direction
In which your play will go
But I am no longer a part
of that dialogue
that script
My role ended last night
Having learnt from my past
I am walking new steps into my sands
Realising
That nothing will change
I will shrivel and dry out
(as I feel I am now)
With my endless giving
Endless flowing out of my spirit
if I stay
And there will never be the same flowing back
into me
I need to seek Life
Once more
I am not finding it here
Not like this
I said before what it is
I Want
With all my heart
And now I see it is also what
I Need
You cannot give me this
There are changes that would need to happen
And I don’t see this taking place
Not now
Not ever
Life is calling me to the place I need to be
Where Life flows
And Breathes back into one’s soul
When one is spent
And tired
I travel alone now
Once more
In seek
Of my True Desire
My only Real Dream
the kind of Love that is my Destiny
Knowing nothing less will do
I’m not sure how I leave
But you won’t hear me
I just won’t be there anymore.
(13 July 2008)
There is no more left here for me
My giving is spent
And there is nothing for you to give in return
That can sustain me
nourish me
The way that I need
There hasn’t been
For a while
(perhaps there never was)
But I held on,
To the hope that it would change
That this had a possibility of life
My loving
In all the ways that I have sent it out
I see
Is flowing into a nothingness
A black hole
The rarest of jewels I carried in my outstretched hands
With complete and utter love
Devotion
So willingly wanting to give away
to you,
Now have no home
I think they never did
I see them sinking to the bottom
of an abyss
The bed of the ocean floor
Where there is just darkness
Infinite …. never-ending …
never breaking …
No life dwells there
Only loneliness
Their sparkle
Will never shine
They’ve had no chance to show
all of their glow
they only glinted on their gradual floating down
as the light caught them ever so slightly
while receding
just possibilities of what they hold
My heart once soared till not very long ago
flying with excitement
at a possibility
Of having found what I was looking for
Have been seeking for so long
But reality has dawned in
Its rays have filtered through the Veil of Illusion
That’s been wrapped round my senses
I’ve had no choice but to lift it and see
How things really are
My role has ended
In this play
I have left this stage
My silhouette sunk into the shadows of the wings
And I am swallowed up by the anonymity
of the backstage
My make-up I have removed
No traces left
And I’ve gone through the exit door
I leave you standing now
With your character to play out
In whichever way you will
Your choices waiting patiently for you
There on the wooden floor
Under the gazing lights
- for you to choose your next lines
Your dialogue
Your gestures
To support your role
You will create by your choices the direction
In which your play will go
But I am no longer a part
of that dialogue
that script
My role ended last night
Having learnt from my past
I am walking new steps into my sands
Realising
That nothing will change
I will shrivel and dry out
(as I feel I am now)
With my endless giving
Endless flowing out of my spirit
if I stay
And there will never be the same flowing back
into me
I need to seek Life
Once more
I am not finding it here
Not like this
I said before what it is
I Want
With all my heart
And now I see it is also what
I Need
You cannot give me this
There are changes that would need to happen
And I don’t see this taking place
Not now
Not ever
Life is calling me to the place I need to be
Where Life flows
And Breathes back into one’s soul
When one is spent
And tired
I travel alone now
Once more
In seek
Of my True Desire
My only Real Dream
the kind of Love that is my Destiny
Knowing nothing less will do
I’m not sure how I leave
But you won’t hear me
I just won’t be there anymore.
(13 July 2008)
...when you finish The Zahir, you will better understand.
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