the Voice of Jean: "Lament for the Convicted"

Lament for the convicted

I might be the scum of the earth
Might have committed the worst of deeds
I may have raped and murdered
Inflicted the most inhumane activities on the humane
But don’t forsake me
Don’t give up on my capacity to change
My ability to heal
My chance to be forgiven
And to learn to forgive myself

Look past my body of steel
The whispers of oncoming pain that ripple across
my muscles
My eyes of malice
The glint therein
That flickers echoes of my past

Look past the colour of my language
The obscenities I spew
In a rage of firing bullets
I’ve had to learn to use my rifle tongue
As a weapon of disguise
In order to survive

There is holiness in me
Its just been buried deep
Somewhere I chose
To live out my days
In this steel framed chamber
So that I could repent my ways
I may not be conscious
of my soul’s choices and contracts
yet I too spend time with my Maker
as we go over the journey’s I’ve taken

Remember my heart is human
Just like yours, is mine
Like you I birthed from a mother’s womb
Mine just may have not seen
My stages of development through
My childhood season may have
Harvested sooner
Than yours
My days of innocence shortened
My childhood memories few
yet still a child I was

Within me lie
Those holy words
That you speak out loud
That you’ve memorized by heart
Only for me
They lie quietly unspoken
Dormant
Remembered by my essence
my true nature
They lie
In my heart
Waiting patiently for me
To find my way back home

* COMMENT:
is it not the responibility of the community to find ways of initiating ways for the "misdeamonours" to find their back to honour? As much as we all have the responsibility of making choices in our life, for the direction of our life to take, and then carrying the responsibility of the consequences of these choices, do we not have some responsibility toward the our fellow human being - our community round us? A responsibility to contribute toward its progress? Obviously this is only possible when one has ventured into, shaped and layed a solid foundation wihin the self - an internal justice system - principles and values of the heart - universal in nature. From this space, however, I feel that I then have a responsibility to create POSSIBILITIES for those still searching - not DEFINITES, but POSSIBILITIES, where there is freedom in which to make their choices, through having been shown different paths available, no longer closed doors, barriered walls, and turned backs...Yes, I feel anger, I am angry at the wrongs that the convicted (and at times unconvicted) do. Their actions and even more so the impact that their actions have on others, riles me. Yet, I believe that I can be both angry, and make a decision to reach out and initiate change. It has to start somewhere. Why can it not start with me, if its change that I am wanting so badly? Why must it be another's responsibility to action tranformation, when I'm the one wanting it? A mindset like that, I believe, only perpetuates a state of victimhood, a state of mind and way of being that already engulfs the people of our society, and ultimately undermines the potential of our humanness, and spirit... We then, are just as guilty as those carried away and placed behind bars, guilty of all mumbling "good riddance" and then doing nothing. I believe that good people's impassivity is possibly worse than a guilty person's activeness - they had the courage to act. Please do not think me condoning wrongdoers actions, I'm saying that we can learn from their seeing an action through - only, now, we can see a action through that is contributing, nurturing, empowering.... We all have the right to redemption, but it is only ourselves that can redeem our self. An outstretched hand wanting to share a possibility of reaching this place of self-forgiving, is I think, something that is too lacking. Its too easy to say, its not my problem. How then can we possibly say we are honest good people, if one's way of being is not honourable in the name of the soul, of the spirit?