"Being Nobody" (27 December 2007)

“Being Nobody”


I read the last lines of the story (The Zahir) and my heart sinks when he finds out that she is pregnant. My ego steps in and I feel the sense of devastation that he must be feeling. How can he possibly feel safe? And some how he manages to step past this and see that her love has not changed, it was a decision that she made in her life that he had/has no control over, just as she had/has no control over his decisions, just as we, each of us, has no control over the decisions of Love, and yet we try to control the decisions of one another, and of Love, and we cannot. And why do we do this? Because we’re scared.

So what do we control, nothing, but ourselves, and how we choose to Love ourselves, and let Love love us in its own way…..

We have to surrender and be nobody in the world, and everybody to ourself with the guidance of the Divine force. We have to surrender our ego, the part of us that lives in the world of the material, and move beyond into the world of the unseen, into the realm in which our soul, our spirit dwells in order to be free.

We have to let go of the rules of man, the rules of the religions that were created in and the rules for living, all made within holy walls, and live instead by the laws that govern the natural world, and the human spirit. We must surrender the belief that the Divine can only be found in written words and the voice of a holy one, that the Divine can only be felt and worshipped behind those walls, for they do not dwell there, they were brought there from another place, the world of the natural.

For the first time the story of Adam and Eve made sense to me…..it is the story of Creation, yes, but not as it has been read and entrenched into the minds of the young, while their minds are still moulding and shaping themselves. No, how it makes sense to me now, is in how the Divine chose to express its essence through splitting itself into the two components that make It up – the Masculine and the Feminine. Woman and Man are both an expression of the different and complementary – yet equal – sides of the Divine. Neither is better, or stronger or more important, for they are both One and the Same. The Divine is both equally feminine and masculine. And Love is the life force that breathes through the Divine. The energy that gives It Life. The Trinity is borne – Feminine, Masculine, Love….. and somehow the truth of this was lost, tainted and manipulated into man’s need to control out of fear. Women were made lesser, out of man’s fear because of misunderstanding, and children were made even lesser because of their understanding of the truth of where we all come and their ability to see and know this. Somehow, I look at the world around me and what I see from this new perspective is how man is the furthest from God, women a little closer, and the children the closest. Suddenly it makes sense that our world has become patriarchal out of men realizing this truth and their irrational conclusion that they are even more damned than women and children – how to cure this, in their opinion? Take control, through brute force. Show them whose boss, and in doing this, they’re not really getting back at women and children, but getting back at the Divine. For feeling the most forsaken – for how could the Divine have allowed men to wander further away than the women and the children of the world? And men will be damned if they should find their way back by acknowledging that the path is only through the Feminine. And yet, what if it is? I think of what I was told recently and what has not yet left my mind but has stayed patiently waiting for me to find a place of sense for it. I think of how when the foetus takes on gender, it first becomes female, before moving onto male….why is man so scared of the wisdom of the feminine, the existence of woman? There is no threat, if anything there is a desperate need from the woman to be reunited with her man counterpart, and if man cannot see this, then there is a great gap of knowledge lacking in mans understanding in the nature of the Divine. And this saddens me, for we then still have a very long way to go.

Suddenly the world seems to make far more sense, and perhaps I can breathe a little more easily. It is not fair, but it is up to each of us to make our decisions, and to find our own way back to loving ourselves, with the aid of Love. Therein lies the happiness and the freedom we so long for. An acceptance that both the masculine and the feminine make up the force that breathes our existence into being, that lives through and around us each day, and that both are needed by the other. And that perhaps, it is a blessing to be able to show the other a different face, a different quality of the nature of the Divine. We are all important, we are all godly, but we have to be nobody in this world, to be able to see how we integrate as part of the Divine, in order to find our way back to ourselves – back to the Divine and Its Love.