No matter how old we may be, we can never underestimate the power of the dynamics and so influence and impact that our relationship with our parents will continue to have on all our intimate relationships in the future. We will always continue to simulate our mother and/or father's relationships with us - and that they had between them - over and over until we have a clear understanding of how they have affected us - only at this point will we be able to conciously choose the nature of future intimate relationships that WE want to have - and not a reconstruction of what our parents thought and set up for us - and so not a fulfilling of a prophecy of who they thought (and probably still think) we are, instead we get the chance to create who we are for ourself, free of other people's perceptions - our intimate relationships are an extension of this, an extension of us. They reflect the deeper essence and colour of our own individual nature and provide a space for us to creatively explore and express who we are for ourself .... but it takes conscious efforts to unravel the patterns engrained by our upbringing, for here was our first naive contact with what a close and personal relationship could look like. As a child we think this to be the only way - it takes courage to walk away from what we know and have always thought to be the Truth, and venture into something that we don't know at all just so that we can give ourself the chance to discover something that is truely our own, on our own terms, and not merely another reaction to our past.
Looking closely at the nature and patterns of earlier past relationships, they would probably all be a simulation of and reflect similar dynamics or reactions to our connections to our parents.
So, the quesion now is, have you truely freed yourself from your parents? Our do their ghosts still haunt you in your current space of intimacy?
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