....the lesson continues.

The Swallows of Kabul

By Yasmina Khadra


“She didn’t kill anyone, Mussarat. I don’t want her to pay for a crime she didn’t commit.”
“You’ve seen many others die before her.”
“Which proves that there are some things one can never get used to. I’m angry at myself, and I’m angry at the universe. How can a person accept dying because a bunch of incompetent qazi reached a hasty verdict? It’s ridiculous. And even if she isn’t strong enough to keep on fighting, I’m not going to give up. She’s so young, so beautiful, so …. Gorgeously alive. Why didn’t she leave when I held the door wide open for her?”
Tenderly, Mussarat lifts his chin and thrusts her hand into his tangled beard. “And you? Tell me honestly – look at me, please, and tell me, swear to me – would you have let her go?”…..

…….”Then explain it to me,” he moans. “ For the love of the Prophet, tell me what’s happening to me.”
“The best thing that can happen to anyone on earth.”
Atiq jerks his head up so fast that the movement ripples his shoulders. “What exactly do you mean, Mussarat? I have to understand.”
She takes his face in her hands, and what she reads in his eyes is the final blow. A shudder course throughout her body. She tries to struggle against her emotions, but in vain; two large tears form on her eyelids, then roll down her face and reach her chin before she has time to stop them.
“ I think you’ve finally found your way, Atiq, my husband. A new day is dawning for you. Something is taking place inside you that would make you the envy of saints and kings. Your heart is being reborn. I can’t really explain it to you, and besides, it’s better that I don’t. But I can tell you it’s nothing for you to be afraid of.”
“So what should I do?”
“Go back to her. Before you open the door for her, open your heart and let it speak. She’ll listen and she’ll follow you. Take her by the hand and leave, both of you. Go as far as you can, and don’t look back.”
“You’re asking me to go away, Mussarat?”
“I’d throw myself at your feet if I thought that would persuade you.”
“I will not abandon you.”
“I don’t doubt it but that’s not the question. That woman needs you. Her life depends on your choice. Ever since you saw her, there’s been a glam in your eye. She lights you up inside. Another man in your position might go up on the roof and start singing at the top of his voice. If you’re not singing, Atiq, it’s because no one ever taught you how. You’re happy, but you don’t know it. You’re even overflowing with happiness, and you don’t know how to rejoice in it. All your life, you’ve only listened to other people – your teachers and your holy men, your leaders and your demons – and they’ve spoken to you of nothing but wrongs and bitterness and war. That’s what your ears are filled with; that’s why your hands shake. And that’s why you’re afraid to listen to your heart right now and seize the opportunity that’s come to you at last. If we were in some other place, your distress might arouse the sympathy of everyone in the whole city. But Kabul doesn’t know much about this kind of distress. Our city has renounced it, in fact, and that’s the reason why nothing turns out right here, neither joys nor sorrows…Atiq, my man, my husband, you’ve been blessed. Listen to your heart. It’s the only voice hat’s talking to you about yourself, the only counselor that knows the real truth. Its reasons are stronger than all the reasons in the world. Trust your heart and let it guide your steps. And above all, don’t be afraid. Because this evening, you of all men are the one who loves …….”