"Tears Taste Sweet" (Poem - 02 February 2008)

For a moment

my hand lingers at my mouth

I'm caught in the act

of painful self-infliction

Only this time

I see where I'm going

and the light of self-awareness

self-understanding

flickers on

My tender nails

will no longer bare

the venting of my pain

the skin that protects

these tender layers of cartilage

will no longer be torn

wrenched from my body

my well-being

by my ruthless teeth

as I, in a fit

of denied emotional pain

take it out on my physical self

No

this time

I'm going to resist

and sink

into the rawness within

the dissapointment

and the awful pain

And as I hold myself

in the deepest embrace

I'm going to cry and cry

I'm going to let the sadness

flow uninhibited

letting it swim around me

And I see My sadness

in the waters that envelop me

I sit at the bottom

and all around

I see me

the crysal waters

so clear in their reflections back

in their beauty

I see my own

The tears come quietly

and the pain becomes real

I give it space to be there

here

in me

I accept it as having a rightful place

within my flesh, my bones

my heart

my spirit

and the tears taste sweet

I laugh at the extraordinariness

of their presence

and their comfort

despite the pain

my hurt holds me

It teaches me to let me be

to let go

to relax into who I am

and love all of me ....

Only ever

All of me....