Stepping forward
to the scene of the crime
I tread carefully over the broken shards
of feelings
experiences past
the memories
come thick and fast
I know that its only me
that can clean up
the messes gone by
the fragments of emotions
forgotten
that lie vulnerable
exposed
raw
waiting for me
to take them home
my heart
breaks at the view before me
I look deep within
to a place that I know I've been before
but have so often forgotten
in my haste to run and hide
to escape,
that space
of great strength
that needs no guardedness
no pretentiousness
the place
where my great Love of Life
resides
patiently waiting to be remembered
no matter how long this may take
always waiting
With courage I begin to pick up
the broken bits and fragments
the fractured pieces of my life
that for too long have been neglected
Because I've been too scared to go back
To the scene of the crime
and face the pain
But I know its time -
to hold myself back any longer
from blossoming into
my ultimate dream
my most desirable image
that picture I see in the mirror
within
that takes my breath away
every time I chance to glance there,
would be absolute stupidity
I bend down
and gently lift each individual piece
of my soul
careful not to shatter it
any further
and slowly
I take the time
to fit each piece back together
into its rightful perfect place
I fit the pieces of me
back together
Again
My mind guides me back
to the the times I missed,
the moments I forgot,
or just chose to look the other way
from my hurting heart
Where I turned my back on the person
closest to me
the person who I love the most
with all my heart
Me
and with great shame
I ask for forgiveness
for a chance
to fight back
where I gave up
to believe and stand alone
where I lost faith
in fear of looking different
to everyone else
I see for the first time
through unveiled eyes
with crystal clarity of sight
that I am whole
and always have been
I see the infinite depths of my heart
and I understand
the greatness of my nature
the tenderness of my soul
the relentless fire of my spirit
the infiniteness of my existence
And
the openess of my palms
yearning to reach to the world
outside
with a willingness to show
and share
the sacredness of my heart
with whoever is willing
to receive it.
I start to walk away
then stop
and turn
to look back
at the once shattered scene
at a life that once was
smiling
I say goodbye
to the once-place of hurt and shame
the wound now clean
ready to begin the process of healing
in anticipation of living out
my life
still to come.
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