Only My Demons After All

Only My Demons After All

And slowly my mind reveals to me
that all the time they were but mine
all my demons start the gradual smokey rise up
from the pit of my gut
transparent grey and white they twirl
my minds's eye opens up and I see
that all this may have well been
a dream
of what I wish could be
that i havent been the only one
missing
hoping

i thought that i was sensing him
but perhaps not
perhaps this time i was wrong
that ive been holding onto a ghost
instead
that the pain of the loss
i have not quite put to bed
that the pain of loss
has been too much to face
to think hes moved on just like that
cut me loose with no regret

i fear that time will pass
me by
and i
will grow alone in age
i fear that somehow i am less
than others
and that my heart
is deliberately being denied
because of some wrongs
that i am being punished for

i hope this is not true
that these my demons
will somehow change
and free me
lead me to a love
thats real
and forevermore



(18 July 2013 for G.H.)










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