Knowing when to remain still
Posted: 08 Oct 2008 06:52 AM CDT
Paulo Coelho
A warrior of the light never forgets that good men do not complain.
Injustices take place. We all go through situations we do not deserve - generally when we cannot defend ourselves.
At such times, the warrior remains silent. He does not waste energy on words, for they can do nothing; it is better to use the strength to resist, be patient, and know that Someone is watching. Someone who has faced unjust suffering, and who does not accept it.
This Someone gives the warrior that which he needs the most: time. Sooner or later, everything will work in his favor once again.
A warrior of the light is wise; He doesn’t comment on his defeats.
Wednesday, 8 October 2008
Quote of the Day
Posted: 08 Oct 2008 06:51 AM CDT
Paulo Coelho
We arrive precisely where we need to arrive because the hand of God always guides those who follow their path with faith.
(Brida)
Posted: 08 Oct 2008 06:51 AM CDT
Paulo Coelho
We arrive precisely where we need to arrive because the hand of God always guides those who follow their path with faith.
(Brida)
Tuesday, 7 October 2008
A Gentle whisper to my ears
Quote of the Day
Posted: 07 Oct 2008 05:56 AM CDT
Paulo Coelho
The Lord listens to the prayers of those who ask to be able to forget hatred, but is deaf to those who want to flee love.
Posted: 07 Oct 2008 05:56 AM CDT
Paulo Coelho
The Lord listens to the prayers of those who ask to be able to forget hatred, but is deaf to those who want to flee love.
(The Fifth Mountain)
Quote of the Day
Posted: 06 Oct 2008 05:39 AM CDT
Paulo Coelho
God always offers us a second chance in life.
Posted: 06 Oct 2008 05:39 AM CDT
Paulo Coelho
God always offers us a second chance in life.
(By the river Piedra I sat Down and Wept)
Time to let go
The Strength of the Warrior
Posted: 06 Oct 2008 05:44 AM CDT
Paulo Coelho
The warrior - inadvertently - takes a wrong step and falls into the abyss. Phantoms startle him, loneliness torments him. As always he sought the Good Combat, and didn’t think this would happen to him.
But it did. Surrounded by darkness, he communicates with his master.
"Master, I have fallen into the abyss," he says. "The waters are deep and dark."
"Remember one thing," replies the master. "That it is not the fall which drowns, but the length of time underwater."
And this causes the warrior to use all his strength to get out of the situation in which he finds himself.
...thank you Paulo. My heart is broken, and all because I believed fully and deeply in the person ... confused as I am right now, its time to let go of him, I did my best, gave my all, loved with every part of me - his destiny is not my choosing, it is his own. I uqestion every day how I did not love him enough, what more could I have given of myself, and every morning I look at him and the walls have shut me out even more than before - or maybe its me who knows this fight I have lost. He won - whatever it was he wanted to achieve, he did.
Its Time for me to go my own way now and leave him in the present, there'll be no changes for today.
Posted: 06 Oct 2008 05:44 AM CDT
Paulo Coelho
The warrior - inadvertently - takes a wrong step and falls into the abyss. Phantoms startle him, loneliness torments him. As always he sought the Good Combat, and didn’t think this would happen to him.
But it did. Surrounded by darkness, he communicates with his master.
"Master, I have fallen into the abyss," he says. "The waters are deep and dark."
"Remember one thing," replies the master. "That it is not the fall which drowns, but the length of time underwater."
And this causes the warrior to use all his strength to get out of the situation in which he finds himself.
...thank you Paulo. My heart is broken, and all because I believed fully and deeply in the person ... confused as I am right now, its time to let go of him, I did my best, gave my all, loved with every part of me - his destiny is not my choosing, it is his own. I uqestion every day how I did not love him enough, what more could I have given of myself, and every morning I look at him and the walls have shut me out even more than before - or maybe its me who knows this fight I have lost. He won - whatever it was he wanted to achieve, he did.
Its Time for me to go my own way now and leave him in the present, there'll be no changes for today.
Monday, 6 October 2008
Keyword of the Day: Devastated
...So, here I am. Splat all over the floor, desperrately trying to get through the day and knowing that I'm probably not going to - not poised and collected anyway. Finally, my heart got my attention and bitch-slapped me in the face to wake me up - whilst telling me over and over to feel what i am actually feeling - that I'm a devastated mess, that I feel like I've been crushed and rolled over just for confirmation of my flatness into the pavement, squished like a bug, and that the only way to get up is to scrape the remnants of my once living body off the floor.
And, yes, of course, its always becuase of heart break. And yes, he managed to get me ointo this space - have this effect on me. I didn't want to admit it. But driving to work this morning it felt good to reconcile myself to the fact that this is really where i am inside - raw and hurting endlessly. Sad and feeling like a fool. Wishing there was some way to get what was back, and knowing i have to find a way instead of moving forward.... and then i have to sit opposite him at work, face him as if all is well, and its not. i couldn't hold it in anymore today - i balled my eyes in the bathroom. I feel like a soggy mess inside and just want to run a mile. But also know that this is probably the best space for me to be in right now.
he questions me in how I perceive things, and i'm just not like him, i don't shut things away and lock them up for good. I feel them, breathe them, live them - i am what is going on inside of me and I cannot ignore it....
so of course it leaves me feelign even more rejected, confused, hurt - devastated - watching him cool and calm like nothing ever mattered, that life is just going on. i watched a movie last night and she tells him "we're just the substitute". Of course they fidn their way to each other at the end - always the case with romantic movies. But the point is that those words hit me, I was his substitute. And now that all is learned / or not (probably more the case), he had his bit of fun and goes back to his familiar space ... and i'm the fool who fell. You know, the one solice i have is knowing I've found the courage after all these days to be able to admit that i fell, hard and fast, and that i feel a complete idiot... i'm not sure how one picks themself up from a fall this hard and far down, but i'll just ahve to learn, like everyone else does. The last time I fell like this and was left reeleing from the most unexpected break-up / rejection was when i was 13 years old - funny, becuase while trying to comes to terms with this i realised how similar that boyfriend and this man are so similar and how the nature of the break-up was so similar ... they both left me when things got too hot to handle.
Perhaps they never really wanted to be involved with me - somehow I don't believe thats true. My sweetheart at 13 sought me out when I didn't even have a clue he existed (being 3 years older, one of the most popular guys in the school which i only found out afterwards, and having just arrived in high school there was no way i was considering even being noticed!) .... he left me the day he arrived back from veldschool. i know he gave into peer pressure from his friends - he got scared and fled - his insecurity got the better of him, the stupidity in all of this is that he never kept his eyes off me all the time after that. I wrote to him just before I left the school to make peace and his reply made it clear that i was never forgotten .... well, the dear man in my present time i know had a girlfriend in Israel who he apprently never planned to stay committed to (but wasn't straight up with her from the beginning), so when she started to pressure he broke it off and went on his planned trip through Africa..... partnering with a woman that lived as a loner just as he does - no need for committment emotionally, just materially .... and then i came along and upturned everything ... and then i questioned and pressured because what i saw was not what was being protrayed to the outside world. And when it just got too hot, he fled. Yet he kept coming back all the times I tried to leave in the first place - but he won't see this. He's just like the insecure boyfriend from my teens - scared to face his inner world, perhaps becuase its a place he knows he'll never have control over and its too much not knowing what he'll find therein.
I still maintain this is how it is. I wouldn't be so sore if he didn't matter to me, and so the state of his heart..... there cannot be a bigger kind of love. If only he'd let himself love the same......
And, yes, of course, its always becuase of heart break. And yes, he managed to get me ointo this space - have this effect on me. I didn't want to admit it. But driving to work this morning it felt good to reconcile myself to the fact that this is really where i am inside - raw and hurting endlessly. Sad and feeling like a fool. Wishing there was some way to get what was back, and knowing i have to find a way instead of moving forward.... and then i have to sit opposite him at work, face him as if all is well, and its not. i couldn't hold it in anymore today - i balled my eyes in the bathroom. I feel like a soggy mess inside and just want to run a mile. But also know that this is probably the best space for me to be in right now.
he questions me in how I perceive things, and i'm just not like him, i don't shut things away and lock them up for good. I feel them, breathe them, live them - i am what is going on inside of me and I cannot ignore it....
so of course it leaves me feelign even more rejected, confused, hurt - devastated - watching him cool and calm like nothing ever mattered, that life is just going on. i watched a movie last night and she tells him "we're just the substitute". Of course they fidn their way to each other at the end - always the case with romantic movies. But the point is that those words hit me, I was his substitute. And now that all is learned / or not (probably more the case), he had his bit of fun and goes back to his familiar space ... and i'm the fool who fell. You know, the one solice i have is knowing I've found the courage after all these days to be able to admit that i fell, hard and fast, and that i feel a complete idiot... i'm not sure how one picks themself up from a fall this hard and far down, but i'll just ahve to learn, like everyone else does. The last time I fell like this and was left reeleing from the most unexpected break-up / rejection was when i was 13 years old - funny, becuase while trying to comes to terms with this i realised how similar that boyfriend and this man are so similar and how the nature of the break-up was so similar ... they both left me when things got too hot to handle.
Perhaps they never really wanted to be involved with me - somehow I don't believe thats true. My sweetheart at 13 sought me out when I didn't even have a clue he existed (being 3 years older, one of the most popular guys in the school which i only found out afterwards, and having just arrived in high school there was no way i was considering even being noticed!) .... he left me the day he arrived back from veldschool. i know he gave into peer pressure from his friends - he got scared and fled - his insecurity got the better of him, the stupidity in all of this is that he never kept his eyes off me all the time after that. I wrote to him just before I left the school to make peace and his reply made it clear that i was never forgotten .... well, the dear man in my present time i know had a girlfriend in Israel who he apprently never planned to stay committed to (but wasn't straight up with her from the beginning), so when she started to pressure he broke it off and went on his planned trip through Africa..... partnering with a woman that lived as a loner just as he does - no need for committment emotionally, just materially .... and then i came along and upturned everything ... and then i questioned and pressured because what i saw was not what was being protrayed to the outside world. And when it just got too hot, he fled. Yet he kept coming back all the times I tried to leave in the first place - but he won't see this. He's just like the insecure boyfriend from my teens - scared to face his inner world, perhaps becuase its a place he knows he'll never have control over and its too much not knowing what he'll find therein.
I still maintain this is how it is. I wouldn't be so sore if he didn't matter to me, and so the state of his heart..... there cannot be a bigger kind of love. If only he'd let himself love the same......
Saturday, 4 October 2008
Wednesday, 1 October 2008
.... and further, there is co-dependency.
It's so subtle that it appears as if there is nothing wrong, no insecurities and neediness....but i have now experienced too many relationships where each time i have thought myself to be the one needing security, the weak one, the one neeidng to depend on the other for support - but always, always my partner who appeared so strong and in control was in fact the one depending on me the most ... how silly. Again, I fooled myself. And as i stand back i can see how scared of his own emotions he is, so much so that he has grown the thickest skin i have ever encountered - and yet, he was the most timid, sensitive man when spending time quietly with me. I thought i was the one who had to be looked after and protected, but in reality i was the supporter, the carrier ..... again, I lived out the role bewteen my mother and I - she was the child, and i the mother.
It's so subtle that it appears as if there is nothing wrong, no insecurities and neediness....but i have now experienced too many relationships where each time i have thought myself to be the one needing security, the weak one, the one neeidng to depend on the other for support - but always, always my partner who appeared so strong and in control was in fact the one depending on me the most ... how silly. Again, I fooled myself. And as i stand back i can see how scared of his own emotions he is, so much so that he has grown the thickest skin i have ever encountered - and yet, he was the most timid, sensitive man when spending time quietly with me. I thought i was the one who had to be looked after and protected, but in reality i was the supporter, the carrier ..... again, I lived out the role bewteen my mother and I - she was the child, and i the mother.
The flip side of Innocence
No matter how old we may be, we can never underestimate the power of the dynamics and so influence and impact that our relationship with our parents will continue to have on all our intimate relationships in the future. We will always continue to simulate our mother and/or father's relationships with us - and that they had between them - over and over until we have a clear understanding of how they have affected us - only at this point will we be able to conciously choose the nature of future intimate relationships that WE want to have - and not a reconstruction of what our parents thought and set up for us - and so not a fulfilling of a prophecy of who they thought (and probably still think) we are, instead we get the chance to create who we are for ourself, free of other people's perceptions - our intimate relationships are an extension of this, an extension of us. They reflect the deeper essence and colour of our own individual nature and provide a space for us to creatively explore and express who we are for ourself .... but it takes conscious efforts to unravel the patterns engrained by our upbringing, for here was our first naive contact with what a close and personal relationship could look like. As a child we think this to be the only way - it takes courage to walk away from what we know and have always thought to be the Truth, and venture into something that we don't know at all just so that we can give ourself the chance to discover something that is truely our own, on our own terms, and not merely another reaction to our past.
Looking closely at the nature and patterns of earlier past relationships, they would probably all be a simulation of and reflect similar dynamics or reactions to our connections to our parents.
So, the quesion now is, have you truely freed yourself from your parents? Our do their ghosts still haunt you in your current space of intimacy?
Looking closely at the nature and patterns of earlier past relationships, they would probably all be a simulation of and reflect similar dynamics or reactions to our connections to our parents.
So, the quesion now is, have you truely freed yourself from your parents? Our do their ghosts still haunt you in your current space of intimacy?
Thursday, 25 September 2008
Paulo Coehlo .....
Posted: 25 Sep 2008 07:04 AM CDT
Another of your wisdoms says that it has a prize not to live one’s dreams. But a dream could be nice just as it is, don’t you think? Must all dreams come true? Sex fantasies, for instance, aren’t they often best as just fantasies?
You are always paying a price either you fulfill or not your dream. I can’t possibly pose as a judge and say which types of dreams should or shouldn’t be fulfilled. I merely acknowledge that when you go after your dream – meaning what gives you the feeling of truly being alive – you are facing risks and you certainly pay a price. The same applies for those who choose to pass their dreams under silence.
Many fool themselves thinking that not fulfilling their dreams will have no consequences… Maybe not for others, but there always remains a scar in the soul.
Posted: 25 Sep 2008 07:07 AM CDT
Paulo Coelho
A friend came to wait on our table - at a café in San Diego, California. I had met Cláudia in Brazil four years previously, and tell my friends about her life in the USA: she only sleeps for three hours, since she works in the café till late, and is a babysitter throughout the day.
"I don’t know how she can stand it," one of them says.
"There’s a Buddhist story about a turtle," replies an Argentinian woman at our table.
"It was crossing a swamp, covered in mud, when it passed a temple. There it saw the shell of a turtle - all adorned with gold and precious stones.
"I don’t envy you, ancient friend," thought the turtle. "You’re covered in jewels, but I’m doing what I want."
We All Have a Tender Spot that's Raw and We Try to Hide ...
Posted: 24 Sep 2008 05:14 AM CDT
By Paulo Coelho
Terry Dobson was traveling on the
Dobson, who had studied martial arts for some years, challenged the man.
"What do you want?" asked the drunk.
Dobson got ready to attack him. Just then, an old man sitting on one of the seats shouted: "Hey!"
"I’ll beat the foreigner, then I’ll beat you!" said the drunk.
"I like to drink, too," said the old man. "I sit every afternoon with my wife, and we drink sake. Are you married?"
The drunk was confused, and replied: "I have no wife, I have no one. I’m just so terribly ashamed."
The old man asked the drunk to sit beside him. By the time Dobson got off, the man was in tears.
Wednesday, 17 September 2008
The third cardinal virtue: Love
The third cardinal virtue:Love According to the dictionary: from the Latin amor: strong affection that drives us towards the object of our desires; inclination of the soul and heart; affection; passion; exclusive inclination; theological grace. In the New Testament: So faith, hope and love endure. These are the great three, and the greatest of them is love. (Corinthians 13:13) According to etymology: the Greeks had three words to designate love: Eros, Philos and Agape. Eros is the healthy love between two persons that justifies life and perpetuates the human race. Philos is the sentiment that we dedicate to our friends. Finally, Agape, which contains both Eros and Philos, goes far beyond "liking" someone. Agape is total love, the love that devours those who feel it. For Catholics, this was the love that Jesus felt for humanity, and it was so great that it shook the stars and changed the course of the history of men. Those who know and feel Agape realize that nothing else in this world has any importance, only loving. For Oscar Wilde: Yet each man kills the thing he loves In a late 19th century sermon: Pour your love generously on the poor, which is easy; and on the rich, who distrust everybody and cannot see the love that they so need. And on your neighbor – which is very difficult, because it is towards him that we are most selfish. Love. Never lose a chance to give joy to your neighbor, because you will be the first to benefit from this – even if nobody knows what you are doing. The world around you will become happier, and things will become easier for you. I am in this world living the present. Any good thing that I can do, or any happiness that I can bring to others, please tell me. Don't let me put things off or forget, because I shall never live this moment again. (Henry Drummond The Supreme Gift, [1851-1897]) In an e-mail received by the author: "While I kept my heart to myself, I never had a single morning of anguish or a single night of insomnia. Since I fell in love, my life has been a sequence of anguish, losses, confusion. I think that God, by using love, managed to hide hell in the middle of Paradise" (C.A., 23/11/2006) For science: In the year 2000, researchers Andreas Bartels and Semir Zeki, of University College in London, located the areas of the brain activated by romantic love by using a series of students who claimed to be madly in love. In the first place, they concluded that the zones affected by the sentiment are far smaller than they had imagined, and are the same as those activated by stimuli of euphoria, such as in using cocaine, for example. Which led the authors to conclude that love is similar to the manifestation of physical dependence provoked by drugs. Also using the same system of scanning the brain, scientist Helen Fisher, of Rutgers University, concludes that three characteristics of love (sex, romanticism and mutual dependence) stimulate different areas of the cortex, and further conclude that we can be in love with one person, want to make love to another, and live with a third. For a poet: Love possesses nothing and does not want to be possessed, because it is enough in itself. It will make you grow, and then throw you on the ground. It will whip you so that you feel your impotence, it will shake you to rid you of all your impurities. It will crush you to leave you flexible. And then it will toss you in the fire so that you can become the blessed bread to be served at God's sacred feast (The Prophet, by Khalil Gibran [1883-1931]) (next Warrior of Light Online Wisdom)
By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a sword!
(Ballad of Reading Jail, 1898)
Unto One's Self Be True
So if it was so perfect within, why then did you go in searching for something, without?
I still truly believe that when one feels unfulfilled, we will always go in search to find a way to be full again ….
Thursday, 11 September 2008
I've had numerous arguments with this person around reason versus intuition, and every time he seems to disagree that its a stable and grounded foundation on which to base deicisons, perspectives and so on ... my argument is that its not something that one jumps to in a split second, intuion is a force, an insight that moves from deep within, in the pit of your stomach and gently makes you aware of its presence -and then ENCOURAGES you to allow it to move and expand some more - over time .... far too many I believe see this force as whimsical, if anyhting I believe it to be far more superior to reason - reason is man - intuiton is Life force, Life force is greater than us...... (but as always, humans are scared of that which they are not in control of, whihc they cannot see, and have to fully trust without knowing whether its really there or not ... I guess the same goes for Love - now thats where I freeze from petrification!) .... Anyway, here's something that came in last night after much confusion, twisting, turning, losing hope, reigniting hope, asking for signs, and still loving despite this all ... this has been my greatest love .... but where to now? I know I cannot replace this one, and I DON'T WANT to.
Whenever we need to make an important decision,it is best to trust impulse and passion,because reason usually tries to remove us from our dream,saying that the time is not yet right.Reason is afraid of defeat,but intuition enjoys life and its challenges.
(Acceptance speech delivered to the Brazilian Academy of Letters)
Paulo Coelho's Blog
This will pass
Posted: 10 Sep 2008 05:55 AM CDT
By Paulo Coelho
The Sufi tradition tells the story of a king who was surrounded by wise men. One morning, as they talked, the king was quieter than usual.
"What is wrong, Your Highness?" - asked one of the wise men.
"I’m confused," replied the king. "At times I am overcome by melancholy, and feel powerless to fulfill my duties. At others, I am dizzy with all power I have. I’d like a talisman to help me be at peace with myself."
The wise men - surprised by such a request - spent long months in discussion. In the end, they went to the king with a gift.
"We have engraved magic words on the talisman. Read them out loud whenever you are too confident, or very sad," they said.
The king looked at the object he had ordered. It was a simple silver and gold ring, but with an inscription:
"This will pass."
This will pass
Posted: 10 Sep 2008 05:55 AM CDT
By Paulo Coelho
The Sufi tradition tells the story of a king who was surrounded by wise men. One morning, as they talked, the king was quieter than usual.
"What is wrong, Your Highness?" - asked one of the wise men.
"I’m confused," replied the king. "At times I am overcome by melancholy, and feel powerless to fulfill my duties. At others, I am dizzy with all power I have. I’d like a talisman to help me be at peace with myself."
The wise men - surprised by such a request - spent long months in discussion. In the end, they went to the king with a gift.
"We have engraved magic words on the talisman. Read them out loud whenever you are too confident, or very sad," they said.
The king looked at the object he had ordered. It was a simple silver and gold ring, but with an inscription:
"This will pass."
Wednesday, 10 September 2008
Monday, 8 September 2008
Pack My Dream Away
I feel ripped apart when I think of how you gave up on me. Gave up on the beauty that was between us. I'm slowly turning to face the unwalked sands that lie ahead of me... as I turn I'm given a glimpse of why you chose this, resorted to this. As I look back I realise you spoke the words from the beginning, gave up from the beginning already .... Love shares with me how you've never thought you're good enough for me, that you don't deserve me .....
but I want to tell you that for me it was always very much otherwise. And it rips me apart as I see this, and slowly pack my dream away.
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